Modern ----Religious Definitions

A Comparison Of Late 20th Century Religious Theory

Capitalism

He who dies with the most toys wins.



Hare Krishna

He who plays with the most toys wins.



Catholicism

He who denies himself the most toys wins.



Anglican

They were our toys first.



Greek Orthodox

No, they were OURS first.



Polytheism

There are many toy makers.



Evolutionism

The toys made themselves.



Baptist

Once played, always played.



Church of Christ Scientist

We are the toys.



Communism

Everyone gets the same number of toys and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.



Baha’i

All toys are just fine with us.



Amish

Toys with batteries are surely a sin.



Taoism

The doll is as important as the dump truck.



Hedonism

To heck with the rulebook. Let’s play!



Hinduism

He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals loses.



7th Day Adventist

He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.



Church of Christ

He whose toys make music loses.



Calvinist

Once played, always played.



Jehovah’s Witnesses

He who sells the most toys door-to-door wins.



Pentecostalism

He whose toys can talk wins.



Existentialism

Toys are a figment of your imagination.



Confucianism

Once a toy is dipped in the water it is no longer dry.



Non-denominationalism

We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.



Atheism

There is no toy maker.



Agnosticism

It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.



Branch Davidians

He who dies playing with the biggest toys wins.



Mormonism

Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.



Voodoo

Let me borrow that doll for a second.



Apathy

Toys? Why do I need toys?



Judaism

I’m selling toys. You buying?



Church of Scientology

Toys ‘R’ Us.