More Bumpers

Constipated people don't give a crap.

Practice safe sex, go screw yourself.

If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

Please tell your pants its not polite to point.
If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better.

My kid got your honor roll student pregnant.

To all you virgins thanks for nothing.

If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings."

If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

Horn broken...watch for finger.

It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.

If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass.





So many cats.... So little time.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!

Women are born leaders, LOOK you are following one now!

Did you just fart or did you always smell that way?

It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?

Life's a bitch, and then you die.

Graduate quickly, millions on welfare depend on you.

Bill Clinton 99% Fact Free

Yesterday I knew nothing, today I know that.

The good thing about small cars is that you can fit twice as many into a traffic
jam.

Doctor's say I have a multiple personality, but we don't agree with that.

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Illiterate? Write for free help.

Take me drunk, I'm home.

Life is like a straw, it sucks.

Don't delay, paint today

I drive like this to piss you off!

"It is Mind over Matter... If you ain't go no mind... It don't Matter"

Front bumper -Run, Hilary, Run!

I may be slow but I'm in front of you.

Suicide is away of telling God, You can't fire me I quit!!!!!

You have to be really secure to be seen in this car.

I'm wondering if you have any horns with goofy songs?

DANGER: I drive like you do!

Kids in the backseat cause accidents.... accidents in the backseat cause
kids.

Please don't hit me I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car.

S.A.S.R. - Speeders Against Ski Racks

If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?

Jesus loves you, but everyone else still thinks your an ass hole.

I don't drive fast I fly low

If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

Your child may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.

If you can read this you're in range.

The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of
your actions.

It's not the size of the boat that matters, it's the motion in the ocean.

Save the planet recycle an environmentalist.

Just because your not paranoid doesn't mean their not out to get you.

Study long study wrong.

Blow your nose, your horn works fine.

My karma ran over my dogma.

I tried being normal once. . .I didn't like it.

I'm not really a driver I just play one on TV.

Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.

Minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.

Why did God give beauty queens one more brain cell than horses? So they
wouldn't shit on stage.

Horn Broken...Watch For Finger.

Everything Is Somewhere.

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure...

I love cats.....they taste just like chicken.

I Wish I Was Barbie. That Bitch has EVERYTHING.

CAUTION I BRAKE FOR HOOKERS.

If it isn't broken...fix it until it is!

Keep America clean...swallow your beer cans.

I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD.

Smile.........show off your teeth.

Clean up America. Shoot a redneck!

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that
far up my ass.

House guarded by a shotgun 3 nights a week. You guess which?

I left the womb for this

I can go from zero to bitch in 2.2 seconds.

The more I learn, the less I understand.

I'm not littering.... I'm donating to the earth.

If you can read this, I am parked.

I got this car for my wife...not a bad trade.

All generalizations are false.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep!!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist

Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.

Horn Broke. Watch For Finger.

I'm objective; I object to everything.

If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

Life is a terminal disease.

Conserve water - Shower with a friend

Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.

Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

Believe in Darwin; cancer cures smoking.